Separating from a partner can be incredibly challenging. This is someone we have forged our identity with. Our past and future were merged with this person. The success or failure of a relationship feels incredibly meaningful, and that can turn into suffering.

We may find ourselves ruminating on why the relationship deteriorated the way it did. On what we did wrong, or what they did wrong. It is likely that both parties contributed their own conditioned negative patterns, which can collide in a way that is experienced as destructive, harmful or toxic.

At the same time, it can be confusing and heartbreaking to know just how much we love them, and how much they love us. The tender moments of pure innocence together. The happy memories at the start of the relationship, and the promise and hope of what could become.

The co-existence of love and harm can be very confusing.

While this cognitive reorganization is happening, there is also a logistical reorganization of lives, responsibilities, finances. One or both parties may move locations. And as that’s happening, there are also strong emotional waves of grief that come whenever they want, like grenades detonating in our mind in public, leaving us incapacitated, depressed, or suffering.

Whatever stage of your separation you’re in, it is possible to end the suffering now.

Suffering comes from resistance to the separation. The thoughts, memories, feelings, communication, the things we’re seeing and hearing as the separation happens.

There is a part of you that is already completely free of this suffering. A part of you at deep rest and peace.

Discovering and resting in that part of you will change everything. Miraculously, peace and ease will flow into your mind and into your life. You will allow the separation to happen, and even as the emotions happen, you will feel it all occurring in a state of deep peace and serenity.

Ironically, when we completely permit the dissolution of the relationship, we enter a state of total needlessness and unconditional contentment. This new state very often brings about the very change that was needed as the relationship was ongoing. It can even repair the very relationship that is currently ending, although there is no longer a need for that to happen.