About the experiment

Why I’m doing this

I was separating from the love of my life, sleeping on friends’ couches, and getting calls from debt collectors. I thought my circumstances had to change before I could feel okay.

Then I found something strange: turning my attention inward helped me find peace while those circumstances were still hard. With less fear and shame, I started seeing ways to move my business forward—and became willing to accept support from friends and family.

That experience left me with a question: how consistently can I stay in that peace? A full week without a dip is the goal I’m exploring within my wider 90-day experiment.

What do I mean by “happy”?

This is how I rate my own experience:

1

Acute or extreme mental suffering

Intense contraction and resistance: “I do not want what’s happening right now.”

5

Mixed emotions

Positive and negative feelings are both present.

8

Very upbeat

9

Excellent, with a separate sense of self

I feel excellent, but there is still thinking and a sense of being a separate individual: “I am me.”

What that can look like

In a conversation with a friend, I still feel separate and different from them. I may compare my qualities as better or inferior to theirs, even while feeling excellent.

10

Perfect peace or happiness

Mental stillness, or no sense of a contracted individual here. Total acceptance of everything, with deep relief and ease.

A dip is any reported score below 10/10. The goal: seven consecutive days with every reported period at 10/10.